Home Household chores ASK ELLIE: Brothers Must Divide and Conquer Household Chores

ASK ELLIE: Brothers Must Divide and Conquer Household Chores

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Question:

My brother and I, 26 and 24, recently moved in together. We knew we could handle it. Our late uncle had left us some money, so we invested in this house.

It’s been great for months! We get along well, have many mutual friends, enjoy similar activities and respect each other’s privacy.

But my brother is lazy. While he plays a ton of sports, he’s lazy nationally.

Her clothes are strewn across her floor. But this is his room and luckily we have our own toilet. Thus, his mess remains contained.

But he often leaves his dishes in the sink, doesn’t empty the dishwasher, and doesn’t turn it on. He rarely takes out the trash or does not replace the bag with a new one.

Plus, we share most of our groceries but buy what we like for ourselves. But he will finish the milk or the fruit and not replace things or even tell me in case I go shopping.

His lightness gets annoying, even though as a roommate and brother he’s great. I don’t know how to reach him.

– Bromates

A:

What luck to share a home and a fairly good fraternal relationship. If you want this to continue positively, remove the lazy tag.

For some reason, it’s just not country-oriented.

It’s no surprise if, say, one of your parents was a picker and the other was a person who wasn’t. Or, if someone in the childhood home was a constant bully, it turns a lot of kids off.

During this time, you share a home with the benevolent presence of someone you trust.

Try practical approaches: for example, make a list of the most necessary tasks that can be distributed among you. When it comes to dietary necessities, keep a kitchen list visible. Whoever has used something, makes the next purchases.

Whoever sees that the dishwasher is finished, empties it. Be clear, this is fairness, not a judgment on his personality. You both received the gift of security. Don’t blow it.


Reader’s comment regarding the husband who recently found out that his wife for 25 years had cheated on him in the past (November 8):

The headline says it should, “Ask your wife for an apology – and offer one yourself.” Why does he have to apologize?

My wife also had an affair with a coworker 40 years ago. I still have pain every day!

When I discovered the evidence, I confronted it. She admitted the matter, but not its duration. We had only been married for two years.

She apologized, saying she had ended it. I accepted the apology and asked why she ended it. She said, “It was not going anywhere.”

In the 2005 book, Women’s Infidelity: Living in Limbo: What Women Really Mean When They Say I’m Unhappy, author Michelle Langley noted a few reasons and signs that a woman unfaithful. My wife fell into several of these categories.

She started a new job the year we got married, and her business partner worked there. So, the affair started immediately after our honeymoon! She had led a secret life for about three years!

Several years later, out of revenge and punishment, I had a relationship with a colleague for three months.

I hated myself for it, I told my wife how sorry I was for it. His forgiveness was immediate. However, signs of infidelity on his part have resurfaced on several occasions.

I still love him. Your advice sounded like you were telling men they should forgive and forget.

Ellie: No, I was calling for a clean slate for this other couple, who “both worked hard to improve the marriage”.


Question:

My boyfriend and I, together since just before COVID-19 rules ordered us all to keep our distance from each other and wear masks, are now excited to open up and be sexually with others. people.

He wants to invite another woman (my choice) to join us. I’ve never experienced this, but I want to make him happy. What do you think?

– About a threesome?

A:

You have to think about it. To me, anything people do sexually by choice and consent, without the risk of unwanted physical and emotional abuse, is none of my business.

The fact that you are seeking advice on this is a sign that you are not sure and definitely not ready for this move. Great sex isn’t just about pleasing the other person. To really feel good and enjoy the act of sex, you have to feel that you like it just as much.


Ellie’s tip of the day:

  • Do not risk a beautiful brotherly relationship. Discuss some necessary tasks, only for the sake of fairness.

Read Ellie Monday through Saturday. Send relationship questions to [email protected]. Follow @ellieadvice.